Amphibian Stage Productions

So, the strike is over. I got to do the show after a 3 week abscence. It was exactly 3 weeks ago that this assault happened to me. Three weeks ago. It’s really hard to believe. It almost feels like a dream. Sometimes I am going about my day and completely forget that that happened to me. I found a therapist, and with the show back on, it is allowing me a chance to get my power back. I have a lot of love in me fighting a lot of fear. But for the first time since this happened to me, I feel like that fear is going away. They say time heals, and it does, alongside a lot of love. Considering I don’t have insurance, this therapist came recommended and compromising with her rates. Thank God.

I went to the hospital yesterday to have a Neurology appt. done. I waited for two hours to be seen an never got in. I was at Bellevue Hospital on the East side of NY. Marybeth, our stage manager for Cyrano called me at 1 and said “did you get the call for the photo shoot today? I said NO! And she said the PR person for Cyrano was supposed to call me. I was home till noon and got no such call. Mary beth said they want you ad Kevin for a photo shoot for the New York Times, rehearsing your fight with him in rehearsal clothes. I tell her I am at the Hospital, and My appt. is at 1. I should be able to make it by 3…well I waited till 3 and still I wasn’t seen, I spoke with the receptionist and she went back and came back out to say that i was next….well 15 minutes later…nothing…then I had to re-schedule as the Times was asking for me.

So, I bustled over and shot with Kevin, we played around quite a bit. They were shooting us just horsing around. God I would love copies of those pics. We had a great time, and then I stayed at the theater and rehearsed with him for about an hour, since we haven’t fought since the strike…3 weeks ago…We had the show that night and played to over 1000 people and received a standing ovation. I cried at the curtain call. I was very happy to be back in all sense of the word. The show was quite good, considering it had been a while, lots of new and fresh things happening, but after 3 weeks we still came down at the same time as when we left the show.

When I came out the stage door I was signing autographs and taking pictures, and as I was catching up with an old friend from work, a woman and a man said…”He’s the purple grape.” (for those of you who haven’t seen the show, Kevin Kline calls me this) And he said had you not smiled I would not have recognized you. He said “look at that smile, how terrific is that” It made me cry too. Then she said “Remember how you are right now this happy and this humble, don’t let the industry change you, people get famous and they change.” I was like wow, who are these people and how come they are being so terrific. It was nice to have all of that unsolicited love. Angels. I think.

Check out the New York Times…there is a pic today of me in it. Wishing you all well.

A word that has been coming to me quite a bit in the last few days. Restoration. A friend of mine, whom i have not seen in 5 years showed up 4-5 days later after I was mugged. She is terrific and full of light and love, and I know God has put her in my path for a reason. It’s been great to catch up with her on so many things, as well as having her support as a friend again.-Restoration

The show is back on!!! We finally got the go to do the show tonight. YAY!!!! We will have a show with many people there. Apparently we are almost sold out. I hope those people come, and I hope they know that we have a show! We had a chance to meet as a cast, sort of informally, and we went through our lines, just to touch up. It was the first time i got to see everyone together again, minus a few English chaps. I was sharing the story with JV Mercanti, Kevin Kline, Jennifer Garner and Chris Sarandon. My therapist says it is good to talk about the experience. She’s right. We had a great covert under the radar meeting and we found out that we will be extending and that PBS wants to film us for it’s Great Performances series.-Restoration

I came out of rehearsal, and I am talking to a few friends and I see Meryl Streep, Viola Davis, Phil Hoffman, and Amy Adams come out of the buildin. They were rehearsing the film version of Doubt right next to us. Meryl was 10 feet away from me. I have always wanted to meet her and this was my chance, but it took me a while to work the courage up to say hello and then she jetted in her car. Very cool though. She has always been an icon to me, and it was jarring to see her so close. I was truly star struck.

God restores. I’m not preaching, just a believer is all. It’s this event that has happened to me that has made look all around inside and out. Break a leg everyone! Can’t wait to be back on stage!

God’s light is all around me, this is what has happened since my traumatic experience.

–Shows were cancelled thru Thanksgiving weekend so I was able to spend time with my family this weekend. I went down to Atlantic City to spend time with my sisters, niece, nephews, cousins and aunts. It was very special. I had two thanksgiving as one of my sisters, Wasana, cooked a meal with her husband Shawn, and the next day we had another meal with my cousin Diane. I brought Erin Cherry with me and she had her meat for the year between the two Thanksgivings as she is a vegetarian.

–I am still in the holding bin, waiting to get back on stage with my comrades at Cyrano…We have lost a total of 19 shows because of this strike and counting. I ran into a few of the Cadets and other residents of Arras last week when I went to sign in at the theater. I was only able to do it a couple of times as I was obviously not doing well. But nonetheless it was great to see them. They were all so sweet, gracious, and supportive.

–I also saw Lara Maerz who did not get to see my show becasue of the strike, but she flew out here from Missouri! She heard of my mugging and happened to have an ipod nano that she found on her transfer in Chicago and passed it to me. So, at least I can listen to music again. Thanks Lara! She also brought sweet faced Lesley Hilton to see me whom I haven’t seen in years and whom she ran into on the plane in Chicago, and along with Yvonne Campbell we all went out to eat at my fave thai place, Pam real Thai food, where pam, kept sending out appetizers for us. I received gift cards from Kathleen & Ibanez, Peter Kowalski, and Holley & John Williams, all of whom are on our board, so that I could get a new ipod. Thank you so much for thinking of me…I am going to use them to purchase a better ipod than the one I had. My friend Craig happened to have an extra Treo 755 that Sprint sent him, and he gave it to me hearing of my ordeal, and that my phone was stolen. Cherry has been working for me the last three weeks at Republic, and as I said earlier was able to spend Thanksgiving with me and my family. I received numerous cards and tons of well-wishing from friends from school, filled with support and love and goodies. Paul and Sara Rolfes came over and spent some time with me just before Thanksgiving and i got too see there beautiful daughter Anna Grace. I slept in my Grandmother’s bedroom over the weekend and last week when i was ill, and she visited me in my dream and told me I was going to be ok, gave me a hug, and then I asked her, “How do I know when you are around?” and she said, when you feel like someone is watching you it’s me” I cried in the dream and woke up so rested. I’ve been getting stronger since.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and remember the positive things in life, the things to be thankful for are more worth your time and efforts and feelings. I know this event has made me do so.

So, you may know by now, many of you, that I was mugged at gun/knifepoint, and beaten up a bit, healing nicely though, really. But rather than talk about the bad parts of this experience, I want to share the good parts of it. I am truly blessed and I have so many friends and so much family that support and love me. I never felt alone through this experience, and that would have been awful to feel that.Truly. I am so thankful that it wasn’t worse, that I’m alive, that I’m healing fast, that I have friends and family so close, that so many people are concerned and care about me, and what happens to me. I am ever so greatful for all of that, because like I said, not having any of that would be a more worse situation. So thank you friends and family for sending me your love and well-wishing.Some fun things that have happened since…The cast of Cyrano sent me a huge bouquet of flowers, as did Jonathan Fielding. Cards and sweets were sent in as well. My friend Monica Mateo came over and smoked me out that weekend it happened, and that made me feel great, actually. I went to my agent’s office the other day and they smoked me out too. That was hilarious to find out, but totally fitting at the same time. My phone was ringing off the hook with wonderful thoughts and the outpour of love that i received was and is immeasurable. My sisters and Yvonne have been taking good care of me, pampering me and such…Kevin Kline called me several times to check on me. He left several funny messages that made me laugh and it hurt to laugh… ”carman it’s kevin …kline…i play Cyrano, and i miss you…i just called to see how you’re doing, and will happily go with you once you identify these guys, and we’ll go out and skewer them… collectively, really fucking furious about this, anyway, i miss you and feel better, don’t come back till you feel like it…you know what i’m saying? although you’re missed, i hope i can survive the fight with out you, my cell phone is (can’t disclose that!but he left it with me…)anyway feel better, be brave, and much love.”My ribs were hurting and it made me laugh, and it was very thoughtful for him to call. The next day was the strike, and we have been on strike since, and i have been healing up nicely in the meantime. My agent said if you want to make lemonade out of your lemons, well…there you go! So…many things and people to be Thankful for…I’m counting them every minute of my days…Finally a picture of my opening night prada shoes, here they are…My camera was stolen, thankfully I got most of my pictures downloaded off the camera before it was taken. But My computer has a camera so…without further ado…

Friends of the phibs…here are some sweet pics from opening night! Enjoy!

Yes, there is some backstage stuff happening. Mostly good. Kevin, is a sleeper, he naps between shows, and leaves secretly out an undisclosed door. Everyone always wants to know why he doesn’t sign…well…He has a family to get home too, and mostly he is exhausted. Jennifer is a sweet sweet gal, real down to earth and really friggin cool to work with. She on the other hand signs all the time! She likes to kid and she doesn’t put on any airs. Some organization bought the house out tonight, but they were sooo stiff, hardly responded to anything. This afternoon, a friend of mine…Joe Forbrich came to see the show with his girlfriend and his mother, and his mother who saw me in Rose Rage, asked me if I had plastic surgery, because I looked so different. It’s the first thing she said to me after not seeingme for a good 3 years…Hilarious. I don’t have any pics of friends with Amphibian shirts on…but not a bad idea…in the meantime here is a pic to enjoy..More later…

So, It was phenomenal. I had a great time. What can I say! I am living my dream! We received standing ovations from 1400 people, and had five curtain calls on opening night. The show went well. Jennifer was a bit nervous but she was terrific, and Kevin was really relaxed. I was very nervous, my hands were shaking. Not good for a sword fight!

The day of the opening was November 1st, Thursday 2007. I walked up to the theater with my new tailor-made Ralph Lauren suit in tow, early, so I could drop it off and go and get my new shoes…more on that later… and I noticed there was a huge poster..or two, and one happen to be me with Kevin Kline with our names underneath, other pics with Daniel Sunjata, and Jennifer Garner and Chris Sarandon…I almost stopped breathing…It’s huge and right outside the stage door! I walk in and you can barely get up stairs because there are so many gifts and flowers and shtuff. I walk up to my dressing room, and seriously…it’s like Christmas, flowers, clothes, bags, hats and theater swag galore! Chocolates, fruits, nuts, Champagne, and lots of other decadent treats.

I leave and go shop for my shoes. Yes, I bought Prada shoes! My first huge shoe purchase. I had to call 3 people to convince me that it was ok to buy something so nice and extravagant, so I did, and they look and feel amazing. Went to opening and was stolen by the Publicist after which I stood for a good 5 minutes getting my photo snapped by about 30 camera men, shouting, “Over here, turn here!!! to the right!!!” BIZARRE! Went upstairs and had an interview…check out Playbill.com…and couldn’t eat a thing.

Then I spot Glenn Close, and sat with her and Essie Davis from Jumpers(2 years ago Broadway), and chatted for about an 45 minutes. It was amazing. My dates were Yvonne Campbell, Monica Mateo and Jonathan Fielding. Jonathan joined up later…but walking in my suit thru times square with two gorgeous black women on my arms, gave me more than one envious look!
Needless to say, i had a great time, and it will be a moment in my life that i will never forget. I am so proud and thankful, and really felt like this was only the beginning…